Its weak to cry

I'll hold in these tears,
until they burn my eyes,
I'll try my hardest not to whimper,
while I choke on these cries.
Don't cry, don't cry,
its weak, its so weak.
I'll just prove to everyone I'm pathetic,
if I let these tears leak.
I feel like screaming,
I feel like crying,
I feel like bleeding,
I feel like dying,
Why am I such a fucking mess?
trying to cut everything out with this knife,
the razors are sharp but, I don't care,
maybe I just don't deserve life.
How am I supposed to go on,
when I know I'm unable to love at all?
I know I'm also unlovable,
thanks to my every flaw.
So fuck this, I'm sick of living this way,
let the tears build up, but don't cry.
Hold the gun to my head, close my eyes
and whisper goodbye...