why do I bother?

Why do I bother to stay alive,
if there's no hope left in it at all?
When my life is full of breakdowns,
let downs and big falls?
If my life is such a waste,
and breathing feels worthless,
And I suck at everything I do,
and I'm a total mess,
why do I bother to go on living,
if I know I can't be loved ever.
If my days are going to suck,
and the sky only holds bad weather,
why do I bother living,
when I pray to die every night?
If I feel like its worthless,
if I already lost the fight?
Why should I bother,
if everyone would be better off with me dead.
If its much harder to live,
and easier to put the gun to my head?
Why should I bother,
When my best idea is to die,
why do I bother living,
you tell me why?